Holidays in hell [UK]

The Rasmus are about to spend their 1st bank holiday weekend in the UK. Getting them to undertstand our great bristish traditions, though, isn’t easy.

Cricket
Eero: I tried playing it in Australia when we were there last december. Was I any good? Well it’s quite close to this game baseball that we have in Finland. Did I learn to say ‘Owzat’? No, I just hit the ball and ran! But I know a bit of the rules so I can watch games on TV when we are finished.
Lauri: It’s more of a gentelmans game. It’s got really strict rules and you wear white. Would that work for us? Not really!

The pint and the british way of drinking
Pauli: Do we like the pint? Oh yeahhh.
Lauri: We always stick to the beer where were here, but the drinking cultures pretty intense here because all the pubs close at 11pm and people start drinking the moment they get out of work. In Finland, people will start drinking at home with friends, listen to music, the go out at say, midnight because the bars are open until 4am. Here people have less time, so they just drink as much as they can to get wrecked!
Pauli: And then they have a curry afterwards.

The seaside exodus
Eero: This is where everyone goes with the deckchairs and the handkerchief on the head when it’s sunny? We’re always in the cities, never the seaside I’d love to see the sea. You always have these postcards with the big white cliffs on them.
Lauri: Are the white cliffs of dover in England? I’d like to go there. It’s like the end of the world.
Eero: There’s no good waves in Finland. Can people go surfing here in England? Is the water warm enough to swim or is it too polluted? Why are you laughing?

Chocoholics vs the liquorice pizza
Pauli: You like your chocolate bars over here – theres sooooooo many! I’ve tried the Dairy Milk, but you should try ‘salmari’ – it’s a very salty finnish candy made of aluminium chloride and liquorice. Usually people dont like it ; they say it tastes of engine oil and burned matches. You can get it in vodka, ice cream, anything. There’s a liqurice pizza. It doesn’t really work, though.

Slang
Lauri: (adopts terrible cockney accent) Can you spare a fag mate?
Pauli: Bloody hell!
Eero: Wicked!
Lauri: In Finland we tend to have our own slang amoung our friends, that only we use, like ‘taikuri’, which means ‘magician’, and is our slang for er, ‘magic’ cigarettes.

Posh and Becks and the tabloid press
Eero: I think Posh should divorce him! He did wrong! We have tabloids in Finland but the whole paparazzi thing is much bigger here. I think it’s pretty horrible really. David Beckhams this great sports hero – he’s a hero for the kids and the press are trying to ruin the whole thing with this stuff about his private life. I saw that ‘Hello!’ magazine you have here yesterday, but it’s all so fake. I’m not interested.
Lauri: We have an equivalent of David Beckham in Finlnad – he was once a greta ski jumper, then he got wasted all the time. Hes kind of like a national joke now, but he’s had his own chat show, hes been a singer, he’s done it all. He sounds more like George Best? Who’s that?

Traffic jams and the perils of public transport
Aki: I think this is awful! We dont have that kind of thing in Helsinki, it’s much smaller. Your traffic jams are a huge problem, especially when you are trying to get to the airport or somewhere. Take the tube? But it’s so dusty and polluted!
Eero: The underground in Helsinki is much cleaner, but it’s only one line.
I used to be in a band called The Metroboys actually. We had an accordion and double bass and we’d go through the carriages playing hit songs of the day. It was good money.
Lauri: I like the public tube here. It’s like another world underground filled with all kinds of people, like lots of bums playing the saxaphomn. Have we ever got lost on it? Yeah, many times.

The festival experience
Lauri: There’s always so many bands to see in the UK. A lot of bands miss out Finland when they play – The furthest they go is Sweden, so you can plan a trip here around concerts. There’s a good festival culture here where you can drink with your friends and see some good bands. We always used to come over here for the summer festivals, especially Reading and Leeds.
I saw Weezer, Rage Against The Machine and The Prodigy for the first time at Reading. That was an incredible show. People were going crazy, lighting bonfires, dancing. I burned my schoolbooks because we needed more fuel – we were like a tribe!

English food
Aki: Not good! For bands when they come to Egnland, the english idea of catering is like someone goes to the supermarket and throws a bunch of stuff on the table, where as in Germany or Italy, they cook you melas that are really nice! You have lots of good ethnic food here, every second place we see here is an indian restaurant but traditional english food is not good! Fish ‘n’ chips! Black pudding! bangers and mash!
Lauri: And spotted! What is that?

The Monarchy
Pauli: We’re a republic which I think is easier. Its a big thing over here isn’t it? You have Buckingham palace and the Queen is always in the newspapers. I’m not so interested in it. We’re more in to rock clubs really.
Eero: But one of us is having an affair with Prince William! Shhh!

Camden town
Lauri: It’s a colourful place always full of cool, alternative people, so it’s always quite inspiring to go there. Once we supported rancid in Finland and the next time we came to camden, this guy started shouting across the street to us – ‘Hey the rasmus!’ – and it was time armstrong in camden town! I had yellow hair then and he recognised me. I was so blown away!

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